Listeners Odes

Poetry submitted to us by our listeners!

When i used to swear i felt like a donkey,
but then i discovered the all amazing PUNKY!

Swearing is now my form of art,
All thanks to you fucking tarts!

Yes Paul and Tony are a bunch of cocks,
but i dont care...
They still rock my socks!!

Paul and Tony are tossers,
they swear and talk bollocks all night,
but on punky they play Devilish Presley
so we think these 2 cunts are alright.

If you spend life ALWAYS LOOKING for AUNT BETSY'S BOX
BUSIER THAN A ONE LEGGED CAT TRYING TO BURY SHIT ON A FROZEN POND
You may miss your chance
To STAND UP AND TAP DANCE
You may find yourself
With a ONE WAY TICKET TO FISHTOWN

If you spend all your time too GROFFOSSED
Swayed by the SMACKTARDS, the SHITIOTS, and the TWATS
You may BLEED LIKE A SHOT FOX
While you drown in GUMMITWAT
You may never again return
From the clammy clutch of FISHTOWN

And when the QUEEF CAKE is silent and dry
And your SACK SANDWICH is nothing but a sad trail of bloody crumbs
Down the front of your favourite jumper
You'll sidle up to the CROWN
ZUFFLE the velvet curtains do
And scream GOOPA GOOPA while you hump her

Along a road I walked one day,
The sun it shone so bright,
I saw something along the way,
It gave me such a fright.

I stood, I stared; in disbelief,
I was overcome with shock,
A man there stood, up to mischief,
Erected was his cock.

At least I think, erect it was,
I could not tell at all,
The reason for this was because,
It was very small.

I said, Hello, u freaky pissmop,
What the fuck are you doing?
He said please dont call the cops,
For this horse I am wooing

Lo and behold! I saw the beast,
It reared up to the man,
He said Oh this will be a feast,
Ill enter if I can

You sick cunt! I yelled out loud
This is a public location,
He didnt care, he seemed quite proud,
As he committed anal penetration.

Um sir! I said, Youve made a mistake
He said Hi, my name is Tony
I said shut up, that horse is a fake,
It is actually a pony!

Oh no! he said pony u lied
Now my cock will be sore
Im filling with rage, deep inside
Youve really shat in my dildo draw.

They both ran, to the left and right,
In opposite directions,
Some girls were there, and laughed at the sight,
Of Tonys so called erection.

So thats the end of my rhyme,
My brains suffered a fatality,
Ill be emotionally scarred for all of time,
From when I witnessed Tonys public session of bestiality.

I cry Tears of sorrow
I have little joy
Cos im a little emo boy!

I slit my wrists
I cry all day
I hate it when they call me gay

I hope to die
But the rest just say
Go fucking die, you emo gay

I Cry tears of sorrow
Have little joy
Cos im a little emo boy!

Punky punky is so very funky
It makes me want to dance like a monkey
I remember the times that I did laugh
Listening to these guys being stupidly daft
but can she type? - what a great name
Going here and there again and again
Poor paulyb, rabbit less now
Jo says cunt straight out too loud.
Tony cant get laid
Its never too late
All in all, what a great show.
Download it now, thought you should know

Here's a cure for the boring and bland
uniting fans and bands across the lands:
Punky Radio! Goopa goopa!
Take a listen; you'll feel soopa.
The music kicks ass, the jokes are wry,
but best of all: it makes kittenbloods cry!
Don't be a smacktard and miss out.
Punky Radio: goes great with stout!

I Hear you pissmops
podcast on the computer
some twats dont like it

they dont understand
why punky is so funny
they need to fuck off

Tony is Manly
Comic Genius Pauley
tries to convince us

Pauley has quick wit
that much goes without saying
he's still a pissmop

The guests can be fun
but it is better without
anyone else on

You don't know me
for I am Jeff, Amber's friend
it's an ode to Jo and Punky Radio
so this poem I have penned

Tony and Paul
I am the guy who said that Jo "sounded brunette"
her naughty, foul mouth saying cunt
is as hot as it can get

I think it was Tony
who said that Jo was a slut
please tell me that she has small breasts
and a really nice butt

Yes this is crude
yes I am very crass
I want to stick my tongue
in Jo's lovely ass

For Punky Radio
I don't know what makes this poem punk
I just love to listen to punk rock
masturbate and get drunk

When will Jo,
be on your show
you should bring her the next time
that you come to chi-ca-go

I may sound like a stalker
but really i'm just a freak
with an enormous penis
who wants to hear Jo shriek

There's nothing sexier
then a brunette punk rock chick
so many words to ryhme
you take your pick

Your show is cool
and you guys are really fun
now it's time to get drunk
so this poem is done

Whilst I was walking home today
I doth fell on my face
For t'was some emo in my way
Wrong time, mate, wrong place.

I had slipped and fell, it seems
A pool of this idiot's tears
For he just lay there crying
Pouring out his fears.

Well, I sighed, that's it for him
And his stupid faggy hair
I kicked him in the testicles
Now, where to go from there?

I could continue walking
And miss my greatest chance
To show the world what happens when
You dress like a total nance

So that was it, I thought
And grabbed my Punky gun
Shot the asshole in the foot
So he wasn't going to run.

I took my knife and cut his hair
So I could see his face
And then I set about re-arranging it
Give it a whole new base

Shit, he won't stop crying
I really hate that noise
So then I shot him in the throat
Embraced life's greatest joys

T'was then I kept on walking
Left behind that tool
Was not too late, I thank the lord
To catch the bus to school.

Goopity, Goopity, Goo,
I've been evicted, Boo Hoo!
I live on the streets,
Eating leftover Meats,
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

Chickens will rule the world,
and the monkeys will have partial ownership.
Kangaroos will save the world,
and the monkeys will take all the credit.
The Chickens and Kangaroos will band together,
to make a powerful force.
Who will the monkey band with?
How about a horse.
And who might the horse and monkey be?
Why Tony Hearn and Paulyb

Ladies and gentlemen,
i come before you,not behind you
to address you,not undress you
there's a ladies meeting for men only
on wednesday the fourth which is a friday
admission is free, pay at the door
pull up a chair and sit on the floor
here you will learn about christopher cucumber
who sailed the missisloppy river
with the star spangled banana in one hand
and the declaration of indegestion in the other
if you don't think this lie is true
ask the blind man, he saw it too

Once upon a time, in a land far far away,
the little punky peoples would play and play.
You could read a book, or ride a pony.
(Mind you do it nicely, unless you are Tony)
Dancing the night away,
and doing it right, not the gay (homoerotic) way.
Music would turn away that frown,
saving you from a nasty trip to fish town.
And all the peoples would shout "OI OI" with glee.
"Three cheers and a roasted Kitten Blood for PUNKY!"

My monkey left me,
at the train station yesterday.
he said he'd had enough,
of being told to stay.
he said he wanted new things,
the old things going away.
I said fine take the train,
but you're going to have to pay.

At a loss for words
At a loss for you
Paulyb scares me
Doesn't he scare you?

Hey Paul, had an occasion
to send you some verse
see my day started fucked
and it only got worse

My Mull bowl is empty
NO WEED!! CANT GET HIGH!!
If I were a kittenblood
I guess I would cry!

I'm in shock and I panic!!
THAT SHIT CANT BE RIGHT!!
I'm sure there were buds
left over from last night

So I look for my Bourbon
But the bottle has run dry
MAN IF THIS SHIT KEEPS UP
THEN I KNOW I WILL DIE !!!

Theres only one thing to do
Since I'm feeling so flat
Thats to Email PUNKY!!
and call Tony a TWAT!!!